


i just don't want to miss you tonight

by irish_gold



Series: drabbles [4]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, I FINALLY GOT SOMETHING DONE, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-01
Updated: 2013-10-01
Packaged: 2017-12-28 02:36:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irish_gold/pseuds/irish_gold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Easy to ignore every single one of Harry’s calls and texts because after a while the texts stop coming, and so do the calls. It’s easy to ignore the knocks coming from the door because soon they stop and it’s easy to avoid walking the path that passes through the bakery because he finds another road that leads him to the same place he needs to be and.</p><p> </p><p>  <em>It’s very easy because Harry just stopped.<em></em></em></p>
            </blockquote>





	i just don't want to miss you tonight

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written in ages, please don't judge. all grammar and spelling mistakes are my own. feedback will be much appreciated. enjoy. x

“You make me happy.” He says quietly and for a second Louis thinks that maybe he  _imagined_ hearing Harry say those words.  “You make me really happy.” He could hear the slight break in his voice, and maybe his heart breaks at the sound of his voice.

 

“Harry…”

 

“You always make me smile.” Harry goes on ignoring Louis’s pleads for him to stop because  _they can’t be doing this—this can’t keep going on._ “Harry… baby please, I beg you, stop.” And just like before Louis’s words fall on deaf ears. He can already feel the pounding in his heart increase and thinks  _can Harry hear just how fast and loud my heart beats for him? Can he hear the way my heart quickens when I hear his voice?_

“You make me happy when I’m feeling down.” Harry persisted.

 

“Harry stop.”

 

“You were always there for me when I needed you.”

 

“Harry, please…” Louis croaks out, his throat is dry and the tears in his eyes most definitely will not be blinked away. He closes his eyes his head leaning closer to the mobile as if he were close enough to it he’d be able to feel Harry pressed up next to him. Feel the way Harry’s arms would wrap around his waist and how his head would hide in the crook of Louis’s neck because  _he liked being so close to Louis._

But all he feels is the cold screen of his mobile, “You loved me when I thought I wouldn’t be loved,” he hears something shuffling on the other end and Louis thinks that maybe Harry’s paced around the room he was in right now.

 

“Please, don’t, just don’t say that.”

 

“You  _love_ me Louis, I know you do.”

 

“I can’t Harry.”

 

“ _You love me Louis.”_

“Harry, please…”

 

“It’s me who  _you love_ Louis, I know it’s me.”

 

“Harry!”

 

“Why do you keep calling me Harry?! What happened to Haz? To calling me babe and all those other names you called me?! Why have you stopped calling me those names Louis? Please tell me?” And maybe Louis’s heart broke just a little more at hearing Harry’s broken words.

 

He choked on his words, “I—I… I don’t know Harry.”

 

“Then why can’t you just call me Haz?”

 

“I don’t want to do this with you Harry. I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t.” Louis finally breaks, he feels the wet slips of his tears running down his face; leaving trails of salty wetness on his face. He holds the sobs and the hiccups because  _he doesn’t want Harry to know he’s crying._

“Do you not love me anymore Louis? Are you not in love with me? Have you fallen out of love—“ Louis hangs up the call even before Harry can finish his sentence because he doesn’t want to hear Harry say those words.

 

He doesn’t want to hear when Harry finally says those words he’s dreaded to hear for the past weeks.

 

_Because if it’s said out loud than maybe it makes it true. Just a little more true._

\- — -

 

He doesn’t talk to Harry for the next couple of weeks, ignores his calls and texts, he doesn’t open the door when he hears Harry pounding his front door telling him to  _open the damn door, dammit Louis open up!,_ even walks straight past the bakery Harry buys his pastries every morning from.

 

Louis does everything he can to avoid Harry because he doesn’t want to see the look in those green eyes when he sees Louis. He doesn’t want to see if Harry will bream when he spots Louis, or the way he might grin if he catches Louis just in time to talk to him.

 

 _It’s the right thing to do, I need some space—we need some space from each other._ Louis thinks to himself and convinces himself that, yeah, it is the right thing to do.

 

It’s easy.

 

Very easy to avoid Harry.

 

Easy to ignore every single one of Harry’s calls and texts because after a while the texts stop coming, and so do the calls. It’s easy to ignore the knocks coming from the door because soon they stop and it’s easy to avoid walking the path that passes through the bakery because he finds another road that leads him to the same place he needs to be and.

 

_It’s very easy because Harry just stopped._

Harry stopped trying to run after Louis.

 

\- — -

 

Somehow it gets easier for Louis to think of Harry and not feel guilty.

 

And maybe that’s because he  _stops_ thinking of Harry.

 

\- — -

 

The weeks turn to months and the months turn into a year and Louis finds himself  _forgetting_ about Harry, forgetting about the guilt he had once felt and  _it’s easy because Harry is no longer part_ of his life. Every passage way to Harry is cut off. There’s no way for him to call Harry because he deleted the contact, and Harry can’t call him because he got a new phone and.

 

_No. No. I didn’t forget about Harry. He’s just not the first thing on my mind anymore._

\- — -

 

He doesn’t know what day it is or what month it is. He can’t remember what time of day it is either just knows that it’s not early in the morning but not nearly afternoon all he knows is that he needs to buy cupcakes because the girls are staying over his flat for the night and he knows just how much they love sweets.

 

His mind is elsewhere when he enters the small bakery that was just up the street from his mums’ home, he’s thinking about  _what should I plan for the girls? Wait what was the name of that movie Phoebe had wanted to watch? Is Lottie still a vegetarian—_

_“_ You all right there mate.” Louis freezes in his step because he knows that voice, has heard it a million times in his life and had heard it just about every day a year ago.

 

He looks up from his tracks to spot Harry.

 

The Harry who still had the curls from before yet they were more tamed then they were before. The Harry that had a few tattoos but was now covered in them. The Harry who had just been a head taller than Louis before but was now massive and.

 

Oh how he missed those green eyes.

 

Those green eyes hadn’t changed a bit—“Louis.”

 

And somehow Harry’s voice got raspier and deep  _how could that be possible?_ “Harry.”

 

“How—How’ve you been?” He hears the strain in Harry’s voice and can’t help but notice just how awkward this was. Just a tad bit awkward.

 

“I’ve been good, you?” For the first time in what seemed forever Louis wished that this conversation would end already because  _he hates just how formal they are with each other now. Even after years of sucking each other’s cock and cuddling. They shouldn’t be this awkward towards each other._

“I’m all right,” Harry answers after a moment, Louis catches his gaze but quickly darts his sight to the till just behind Harry’s head.

 

Harry opens his mouth but Louis is quick to beat him, “Are you happy?”

 

Almost like a robot Harry responds with a yes.

 

 _He’s lying,_ Louis knows he’s lying;  _his left hand always twitches when he lies._

“Are you? I mean are you happy?”

 

“Yes. Yes I am.”

 

“That’s good.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“…I’ve got to go, um, but it was nice… catching up with you,” Harry says quickly glancing at the door just meters away from him, “We should do this again… Later.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

Harry waves awkwardly swiftly passing by Louis to get to the exit and Louis doesn’t turn around when he hears the little jingle of the bell signaling him that Harry was long gone now. 

 

Instead he sighs and thinks,  _I was lying Harry; I’m not happy._


End file.
